Thursday, 26 December 2013

Hoping from someone

HOPE....The biggest thing in this world. The word hope is to look forward to something with desire and reasonable confidence.
Right from the very beginning of our childhood our parents hope from us to become doctors, engineers and to achieve all the good things which is somewhere down the line is good for us but that little hope sometimes is injurious to relations. Simply put, hopes are things that we want to happen.  They may be likely to happen, or they may be unnecessary dreams that stretch our faith and imagination.
This hope plays a very vital role in our marriages in our love life and are known as unhealthy expectations.
These can be like if for eg : you like somebody and that person doesn't even know you and doesn't know anything about you and after you expect that person to like you and love you back that is unhealthy expectation.
When people enter into the marriage relationship, they bring with them a large, multifaceted
assortment of hopes and dreams that come from multiple life experiences. These
hopes and dreams are what we commonly call expectations—a set of beliefs about the way
things will be or should be in life. Expectations include such things as roles, life and death
issues, relationship models, human behaviour, romance, right-and-wrong, smart vs. stupid,
responsibility, etc.
So, what exactly are we talking about in marriage? Here are some common expectations
that people bring into marriage:

• We will always feel in love
• We will keep the same level of commitment we had at the beginning
• We will basically make each other happy
• We will share the same goals and interests
• We will be in agreement on issues of morality, honesty, justice, etc.
• We won’t have any serious fights or conflicts without resolution
• We will share a set of common friends
• We will be supportive of each other’s interests, careers, and other demands outside
the home.

Where do these expectations come from?

• Parents and family
• Television and music
• Past relationships
• Friends
• Religious traditions and beliefs
• Cultural background
• Personality differences

What are some of the relational traps associated with expectations?

We are often somewhat unaware of our own expectations….they may be present,
but only subconsciously
• They may be unreasonable
• They may have never been voiced (spoken)
• Our partner may be unwilling to work toward meeting our expectations, even those
that are reasonable.

May the Lord give you grace and wisdom as you discover and strategize with your partner
about your respective expectations.